Brief Update

Have you ever been so happy that you have nothing to say?
I have been for the past few days. I have a boyfriend who loves me, a life in college that I can look forward to, and a new life in America that I'm getting ready to start.
To be perfectly honest, I still am pretty esctatic. I just wanted to put an update up here so that no one would think that I've died. Again.

Details of the Day

Today is a happy smiley day. No, not like "Yay! Happiness and smiley faces are falling from the sky! Everyone have a kitten!" More like I'm sitting content on my bed with a book, a pad of paper, and my laptop. I've conversed with all my friends, had an epic battle with a fly, and nearly gouged out my eyes after the hotsauce incident.
Don't worry, I'll get to each.
First: friends. I was reading an old conversation I was having on a groupchat and realized my bestest best friend in the whole wide world thought I was moving to Jersey. Needless to say I laughed and proceeded to torture him. Went something like this*:
Me: So, wait: since when am I moving to Jersey?
Him: What?
Me: You were telling Piratadelibertad that I was moving to Jersey.
   I can't go to Jersey: Tape's from Jersey.
   Told me too many horror stories.
Him: So where ARE you going?
Me: Dude, what's the name of the college I'm going to?
Him: ...
Me: Exactly. Why would I be attending Penn State in Jersey?
Him: *walks away*
Me: XDDDD
So the teasing begins. Needless to say, I will never be letting him forget that moment.
(* IM convo is paraphrased, so it's not word for word accurate and I may have skipped some parts.)
Now for the fly. This irritating insect is DETERMINED to harrass me whenever I get on the computer. Every. Single. Time. Laptop opens, bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! There goes the fly! No manner of swatting, swearing, or swishy-hand-motions-of-death have detered its efforts as of yet. Just wait though. I'll get the little bastard.
...
Eventually.
Anyway, today I made Charley's style sandwhiches for lunch. In the process of making them, I accidentally got Texas Pete on my hand. I didn't want to burn the food, so I just let it be, intending to wash it off my hands when I finished. Except...
I forgot.
And OF COURSE I proceeded to rub my eyes with the hand that had hot sauce on it. Leaving me a whimpering mess on the floor. Oh, the curses that flew from my lips! I wish I'd written some of them down, 'cuz they were so original and colorful and now I can't remember what they were. :C
But ANEHWAYZ! After I recovered from hotsauce in the eyes, I once again forgot about washing my hands. Leading to yet another therapy session with the floor.
How does this translate to having a good day you ask? I have no idea.  I just kinda laughed all the way through it I guess.
Anywho, I'm off to talk to my bf/bf person.

Hairstyles

A haircut is an outward expression of what a person wants to be like. Whether that's edgy or elegant, funky, emo, sleek, whatever! And now, after a few years of having the same one, I'm looking for a new expression.
I have no idea how to choose. I want something rebellious, something that is subtly individualistic, without it screaming "HEY, LOOK AT ME!" to the world.
Just talking about this makes me realize how focused I am on discovering and expressing myself. I say that I'm comfortable with who I am, yet I keep studying and analyzing. I wonder if this is contradictory to that statement or conforming with it.

Letters

I've been writing letters to friends stateside lately. The process itself is... well, let's just say that is very revealing as to what my priorities are.
Have you ever noticed that the one reason someone writes a letter is usually the last thing they say? It is the same with a phone call or email. I hadn't realized this until I sealed the envelope on my latest letter.
I've noticed that when writing I have a tendency of being more open with my concern for the approval of other people. Though, maybe approval isn't the right word. I should say, rather, that I seem to strive for balance and spare no energy or method in the effort to avoid any semblance of conflict. Even without knowing the other person's opinion, I try to placate theoretical hurt or offended feelings.
While sarcasm, pessimism, and a dry humor pervade my verbal communications, as though I'm trying to assert authority, or in the least, seperation from the casual hierarchy of my peers. I try to model myself as a person who demands respect, but the opposite is evident from my written communiques. When writing, whether on IM or in long-hand letters, I tend to be submissive. Any arguement is half-hearted and I quickly defer to the other's opinions.
People who know me well haven't seemed to have picked up on this pattern. There have been frequent incidences, for example, when talking to my best friend during which he takes an approval-seeking/preemptively-placating comment as sarcasm and so takes offence, much to my alarm. It seems that this tendency revealed in my writing conveys, rather than a need to have the Alpha position, a desire to have the Beta, or lieutenant, role.
I find this interesting, and I shall be sure to explore this observation to see if it holds true in other areas.

Trier

Today was a pretty good day, all in all, though it did have it's moments. My sisters, my friend, and I all took the train down to Trier for a day away from home and to shop. At the station, I sat down and the coins on the sash that I was wearing got stuck in the seats just as the train pulled up. Some of the coins came off, but hey! Stuff like that happens and I can always fix it.
We got to Trier and went to our favourite stores. I finally succumbed to the feminine side of me and bought a purse/bag/satchel/thingy, but I have to admit that it was mostly due to my mother's nagging to do so. I also found a cropped leather military style jacket. I've been searching for this jacket ever since I first saw one in 5th grade. Pathetic, I know, but if I've wanted one for this many years, then I obviously want it enough to buy it.
We decided to wander about the Galleria and get our traditional ice cream cones (we go to this one ice cream place every time we go to Trier). Which was fine until I got to the counter and the girl who served my sisters was replaced by a guy. Who smiled at me.
Now, I'm not going all "OMAHGAWD! A guy smiled at ME!" I'm going, "Oh shit, oh shit, ohshitohshitohshit." I couldn't talk right, look the guy in the eye or anything. And I felt really bad, 'cause I know from experience that customers who do this are incredibly difficult to understand. To be honest, I can't even say what the guy looked like. It was simply a horridly awkward moment for me.
Well, enough about that then. We wandered about Trier for a few more hours while it rained off and on. It was odd, but I felt like I was saying good-bye. I hope that I can go again before I leave. I might ask a friend of mine to go with me to visit the museums and such one last time soon. Who knows.
Continued:
I fell asleep while typing yesterday. Didn't wake up until about 5:30 this afternoon. I'm a bit ridiculous. xD Anyway, I'm in the middle of a Harry Potter marathon.

Rediscovery

I was looking through a list of all my accounts on various sites, and I noticed that I had a blog. I was curious, so I went to investigate. I only found four posts, but those four posts were enough to tell me how much I've grown.
I was lonely, scared, and unsure. I thought that a tough, who-the-hell-cares attitude would make me cool, or feel less insecure.
I'd like to say that I've grown up, emotionally. Mentally too maybe. I've changed a lot, that's for sure.
So, now that I've 'rediscovered' myself, I want to continue with this blog so that, when I'm ready to move on to the next stage of my life, I can look back and see who I used to be.

The Last Days... D:

So, this is my last week at K-Town. Sad freakin' face. I would ordinarily want to spend all of my time with my friends and my boyfriend since there's only three days left before I move. Ordinarily being the operative word. 'Cause damn it all, I'm grounded again.

Don't ask how I'm on the internet if I'm grounded from it. You can claim that you didn't have a clue when my mother hunts you down and asks if you know anything about this. Heck, I don't even know anything about me being online. This should tell you how downright frightening my mother can be. *shudders*

Anyway, what with limited internet access, I can't guarantee that I'll be able to update this frequently at all. Hell, I wanted to write about my Thanksgiving and how I got to see Assassin's Creed 2 and the holy hell of watching five demon children at once, but that was earlier this weekend.

...

To hell with it. I'll share anyways. Sharing is caring right?

Thanksgiving was a lonely nightmare. I was used as a portable language dictionary and handy dandy translator for both Germans and Americans as we gathered outside, in the cold and the wet. I was the only teen there besides for my little sister. No, sorry, that's a lie. There were two German girls, but one of them was shy and spoke no english, and the other hates my guts.

I mean, at least the shy girl made an effort. She accepted my halting and broken german with a smile and even made attempts to speak with me. We both gave up when we realized that it took half an hour to even figure out that we had nothing to talk about except for how bored we were.

The other chick though...

Ho-ly crap. I understand that competition exists for jobs and such, but to get all pissy and bitchy because I took a babysitting offer from one of her clients while she was on fucking vacation is a bit much. The girl can't stand to be in the same freakin' ROOM as me for more than five seconds. And if I talk to her? OMFG!!!! THE WORLD IS GOING TO END AND EVERYONE HAS RECIEVED THE EVIL EYE OF DOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM! Despair minions!

I wasn't so miffed about that though. I'm used to it since she's been doing this for almost a year now. But you'd think that people would at least have manners. I mean, hell, if someone said, "Happy Thanksgiving" to me, even if it wasn't my holiday and I didn't like the person who gave me those wishes, I'd still give a flippin' "Thank-you"! 

MOVING ON!

Day after the giving of thanks (by the way, I'm still grateful for mashed potatoes above all else. Heck, they beat out COOKIES by a landslide), I went babysitting with a friend of mine. Was no big deal, was going to be great. Kids were cute, fighting for our attention, not scared of me for once. Live was AMAZING! Until, that is, I realize, these twins are NOT the only kids we're sitting. No. There's THREE MORE!!!!!!!!

For those of you who have no understanding of why this is a big deal, let me enlighten you. Children are fragile, delicate little blessings who have a tendency of exposing exactly how non-durable they are around me. Yup, that's right! I end up tripping over them, accidentally knocking them over...

You get it. So, generally as a rule I keep a distance of at least three feet between me and any small child. 'Cuz I hate children. Rather, I hate how damn breakable they are. 

Anyway, I survived, was exhausted, got home around 12:30/1:00 in the morning.

But it was soooooooo worth it. Not for the money that I earned as many of you might believe, but for the holy gift that graced my house when I got home. That's right, Assassin's Creed 2! Hell yes! Worship all who put their lives into the making of this game!

...

I don't actually own however, which kinda put a damper on my high spirits and sense of awe and gratitude...

But I don't care! Love, affection, and adoration filled my house to the brim that night/morning. Ah, I can still feel the leftover happiness. The game picks up right where the last one left off, though we had to say good-bye to the extremely lovable Altair, jerk that he is. He is THE original spiderman, no matter what any of you say. We get introduced to Ezio, another one of Desmond's ancestors. The only thing I can say that I'm not that fond of in the second game is the Witness Alert icons. It might be that I'm still used to the style and layout of the first game and I'll have to play the second one to get used to the new layout, but I'm not sure yet. I'd mention other things, but I don't want to spoil plot or characters for those who haven't played yet. I'll give a better little review thingy after I get the game for myself.

And now we're at the final topic for the day. *sigh* Yeah, I'm moving, won't say where here. OPSEC, it's everyone's responsibility. All I'll say is that I should be settled and moved in by the time I start school on the 7th of December. I'll come back to visit, we'll keep in touch, blah di blah blah blah blah and all that sap crap. If you're my friend, you know exactly how it'll be and if you don't know, I'm not explaining it for you. 

Anyway, I guess this is good-bye for a little while, at least until I get ungrounded and regain my internet priveledges. 

See ya!

Overall...The Day Evens Out

So, this morning I wake up not to my alarm clock at 6:45, but to my friend coming into my house at 7:34 to walk with me to school. I opened my eyes to her calling up the stairs, went into an epic, "Ohshitfuckgoddamnint!" mode. You laugh, but I have to tell ya, I went from pajamas to walking out the door in less than five minutes. True, I fell down around five times trying to pull on my jeans and fell over my bed trying to get on socks, but I made it down the stairs in one peace. That was the fastest I've ever gone down those damn steps (went down half of it on my butt and ended up hitting the wall at the bottom) and I dare anybody to try to beat my time. Go ahead smartass, I wanna watch you try. That was my epic morning of happiness and sunshine, only to be outdone by the rain and wind that proceeded to add gumdrops and smiley faces to my mood as I walked to school. 

All in all, crap so far. Then my "best friend" decides that today is "Let's Tease Vhen Day" and follows that decision with a vast repertoire of various methods and strategies to do so. Lovely. 

The day did get better though, and now I can't stop freakin' grinning like the sappiest idiot on the entire damn planet. Honestly, I always laughed at the girls who couldn't stop smiling and grinning and blushing around their boyfriends, only to find that karma has suddenly developed a sense of humor by making me The. Exact. Same. Way. 

I'm not going to go on and on about how I love what my boyfriend does. He knows that and that's all that matters, but DAMN IT ALL I CAN'T GET MY HEAD OUT OF THE FUCKIN' CLOUDS!

There has to be a cure, has to be a way for me to act like a sane person instead of a little groupie. I've become one of the people I get angry at, though admittedly I do have an excuse...

No, let's not go there. *headdesk* I'm turning into such a sap. *turns on Trivium and Atreyu* This oughta do it. Anyway, to conclude this mess of teenage rantings, the day pretty muched balanced out. More good things than bad, but hey, I was never happy-go-lucky in the first place.

... But yeah...

Okay, so I have a little 'quote of the day' thingy I guess. Don't want it? Too damn bad.

*clears throat* Here it is: "I don't hate the world, just the people in it."

Tadaa. (Please note tone of enthusiasm.)